Old Ned's Blog

Another Day Older

Ed Decker

You know you are getting older when your wife leaves for a week but arranged for the neighbors to check up on you every day. Right now, I am unsupervised for 9 days. Kind of makes me jittery, but I am in complete control.  I am not sure why, but she took my Costco Card with her.

Today, I got up, made the bed, had a double shot latte, ate a bowl of cereal, showered, dressed, and headed out to my favorite group meeting, the Writers’ Club.  Just before I left the house, I ran back into the bathroom to get my glasses. Good thing I did. Someone had left the shower running. Then there was the car keys issue.

I arrived early, and as the time approached 10 AM, I wondered if they had changed the meeting room.  I pulled out my cell phone to call someone. That’s when I discovered it was Wednesday and we meet on Thursdays.

At that time, I was heading for my 83rd birthday.[3 years ago]

I am the living example of that adage, “If I’d known I would live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.”

I have always been a Thanksgiving baby. It has been fun to tie my birthday in with Thanksgiving, and I make no secret that I love presents. Any presents. No matter the size or cost. And since we fed the clan, they had to show up, and only a fool would show up without a present for Poppa.

My mother always told me that I was born a few hours after the Thanksgiving dinner. She said she had to leave the table and head for the hospital.  We have always celebrated the two events together.  Been doing that all my life.

One day, while playing around on the computer, I put my birth date into a program that would tell you on which day of the week you were born. I never should have done that.  Turns out I was born on a Monday.  My mom had fibbed to me all those years. Why, Mom, Why?

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs came out when I was a month old. It was the same year that Fibber McGee and Molly, and Dick Tracy debuted on the radio.  Amelia Earhart was the first woman to fly solo from Hawaii to California that year.

Babe Ruth hit his 714th and last home run at Forbes Field in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  Alcoholics Anonymous was founded in Akron, Ohio, and the United States Social Security Act was enacted.    And, of course, Hitler was running around Europe, waving his new flag. I know all this because I googled it.

And that was the year Anna Decker told her little boy he was born on Thanksgiving day.  That was in the middle of the great depression, and I guess it was easier to stick a candle in the pumpkin pie and sing happy birthday than have a special cake.

You know, come to think of it, my sister, Nan, was born on Monday, the day after Easter, and nobody ever called her an Easter Baby. But little Eddie was stuck with this bit of fib for over 70 years.

Bitter? Nope. I’m still a Thanksgiving birthday boy! Gonna do it every year. Old habits are hard to change. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.  Some wise sage once said, “Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.” 

I now carry a prepaid Cremation card with me everywhere I go. They must come and get my body anywhere I die. I hope I am on a cruise to Australia when I go.  I just chuckle to think that they will have to spend more money than I paid them. 

Of course, I also have cards that list all my meds and even a card that has instructions for when I get transient global amnesia again.

I was at the dentist’s office recently for a deep cleaning. I stopped them in the middle of digging down below my jawline and dug out my cremation card, and told them to hang on to it just in case they killed me.

After they were done, the Dentist told me that one of my teeth, way in the lower back, really needed to be taken out and replaced with an implant but suggested that I just let it go for the next year or so and just have it pulled.  He said that at my age, an implant was not a wise investment.

I guess he is right. Seems like everything I buy lately will outlive me.